


Something So Wrong, Something So Right

by elrhiarhodan



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Sex, BDSM, Barebacking, Bondage, Bottom Harry, Cock Rings, Consensual Verbal Abuse, Dildos of Unusual Size, Dom!Eggsy, Dom!Merlin, Fisting, Gendered Insults, Harry as Arthur, Harry the Size Queen, Hartwin, Humiliation, KTGC Never Happened, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Orgasm Denial, PWP, Pegging, Polyamory, Size Kink, Slash, Slutty Harry, Spanking, Strap-Ons, Subspace, Threesome, merhartwin - Freeform, merlahad, sub!Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 15:41:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12609956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elrhiarhodan/pseuds/elrhiarhodan
Summary: When Merlin got tired of watching Harry fuck Eggsy on every horizontal and many of the vertical surfaces at Kingsman HQ, he sent Eggsy a gift.  Tonight, Eggsy's going to use it on Harry, much to Harry's delight.





	Something So Wrong, Something So Right

**Author's Note:**

> My entry for the 2017 Bottom!Harry fest. Complete and utterly shameless smut. No plot, no feels (okay, a few feels). Mostly Eggsy doing things to Harry. Merlin doing things to Harry. And Harry welcoming all the things that Merlin and Eggsy are doing to him.
> 
>  
> 
> [This is the toy that Merlin gave to Eggsy to use on Harry. NSFW, most definitely.](https://bad-dragon.com/products/flint)

It's so hot. Almost too hot to breathe. But the hands on his hips, holding him still, are even hotter – they are brands burning into his flesh and Harry welcomes the agony.

"Eggsy – please…" He doesn't know if he's begging his lover to stop or to continue.

"What do you want, Haz?" Eggsy's torturing him, riding the endless length of the strap-on dildo between his lube-slicked buttocks without mercy. It's not just a fake dong, or even an enormous fake dong, but fake dong with grotesque protuberances that catch on the sensitive tissues. Harry writhes against the sheets as Eggsy tries to satisfy every dark urge that he's ever told him about.

Harry whimpers, "More." He's going out of his mind with lust. "Stop teasing me. Please."

"Oi, but I love teasing you. Especially when you're behaving like such a fucking cockslut." Eggsy takes one hand off his hips and the next thing Harry does is scream – he's spanking Harry's hole with the dildo. Harry could come just from this, but for the tight band around his cock and balls. He loses count of how many times Eggsy's smacks his hole, how many times he begs his boy to fuck him, how many times Eggsy just laughs and hits his hole a little harder.

"You're such a dirty boy, Harry. How is it that my cock isn't big enough for you? That you need a giant fake dick to satisfy you? Do you want me to fuck you with it? Do you want me to shove the strap on up your ass and ride you like the slut you are? Do you want me to bugger you like a schoolboy? Turn you into a screaming mess and force you to clean it up?"

Harry goes into vapor lock at the filth pouring out of his lover's mouth. Eggsy's going to kill him before the night is over. But it'll be a happy death, that's for certain.

_Herein lies Harry Hart. He died from too much cock …_

Eggsy pokes the fake dick right on his hole and Harry screams. But Eggsy doesn't penetrate him; he just keeps tormenting him, teasing him with what's to come.

"Fuck me, Eggsy. Shove that thing up me." Harry's begging, babbling, he's lost his eloquence in his desperation for cock.

"Don't you dare, Eggsy. He's not ready for thing that." A deep voice rumbles from the corner of the room. "He's been a bad boy and didn't prep himself enough." 

_Merlin..._ Harry can't believe he'd forgotten his friend is watching.

"Oi! You don't think getting fucked with my _real_ cock is prep enough?" Eggsy's outrage is all for show, that's for certain. 

And Merlin, damn him, is playing along in the “Let’s Torment Harry” game. "Not for that monster. And ye were particularly tender before, all _'Am I hurting you? Is this too much, Haz?'_ I told ye that Harry needs a vigorous fuck when he's like this. That ye got to bang him like he's a two-quid whore ye picked up on Smith Street."

Harry protests, "Excuse me, I'm anything but cheap."

Eggsy and Merlin ignore him. 

"And he is such a fucking size queen." Eggsy's words have a breathless kind of awe. "I know you told me that, but _jeez_ \- way to make a guy feel intimidated."

Merlin laughs, the fucking bastard. "Harry's a size empress, more like it. I should tell ye about the time he had half the …"

Harry, feeling more than slightly abused by his lovers, finds the breath to speak up. "Maybe save the stories for some other time? I'm waiting, here." He wriggles his ass impatiently.

"Geez, you're such a bossy bottom." Eggsy spanks his hole with the fake dick again. 

Harry shrieks and grinds back.

"You want inhumanly big dick, you're going to have to work for it. I'm not interested in really tearing you apart." Despite the harshness of their play, how deep they've sunk into their roles, Eggsy's caring nature can never be fully disguised.

"Well, I should hope not." Harry's seen the strap-on that Eggsy's going to assault (for a relative value of the word) him with, and he's shivering in anticipation. He'd been trying to convince Eggsy to fist him, but the boy isn't having that. Maybe if Eggsy sees how nicely Harry can take monster dick, he'll change his mind.

"Want some help, lad?" Merlin gets out of the chair and joins them, kneeling next to Harry – so close that all Harry can smell is the other man's arousal.

"Please." Eggsy smacks his hole with the dildo again and Harry shudders and cries out.

Merlin bends over him. "You are so pretty like this, Harry. Just an utter mess. Former Galahad. Current Arthur. Full-time cockslut." 

Merlin strokes his cheek and Harry feels those lovely, cool hands collecting his tears. "Please …" That's all he can do – beg. 

Merlin kisses his eyelids, a sweet and gentle benediction. And then he takes Harry's mouth, and he's like a marauding invader, biting Harry's lips, thrusting his tongue in, licking the whimpers out of him. "When Eggsy's fucking your ass with that monster, I'm going to fuck your mouth, how do you like that?" 

"Yes, oh god, yes." Harry just wishes someone would touch his cock. Or that Eggsy would push the fake dick into his ass, once and for all.

"And we're not going to let you come. Not until Eggsy comes in your mouth and I get my sloppy seconds in your ass. You're going to feel us for days."

Merlin is gone, at least from the head of the bed. He's joined Eggsy in tormenting his ass. The squirt from the bottle of lube is a horrible, rude noise, but the cold slick feels so good on his overheated skin. What feels even better are Merlin's fingers working into his tight, aching hole. His index finger glides in easily, after all, Harry's already been fucked once tonight – and while he's craving the monster strapped to Eggsy's hips, Eggsy's own cock isn't exactly small. Merlin's adds his middle finger, and that's too easy, too. A third and then a fourth join and Harry wonders is Merlin's going to work his thumb in too and finally giving him the fisting he's wanted for so long. 

But no, it's just four long, strong fingers stretching him, prepping him, tormenting him.

This is what he needs, he needs to be filled, he needs the burn and the gentle, inexorable opening of his flesh. 

"Relax, Harry. I bet ye weren't this tight for all those pretty lads who fucked ye in public school." Merlin smacks his ass and Harry yelps at the sudden, delicious sting. 

"I bet you were such a great slag in that posh school, putting out for every boy who looked your way. I bet you were just like a public convenience, letting everyone use your mouth and ass." Eggsy adds. The little bastard knows just how much Harry gets off on this humiliation. 

"Everyone enjoyed themselves. I don't see what's the problem there." Harry doesn't know how he manages to get those words out.

"Oh, no problem, luv. No problem with you being the class slut." Eggsy's the one kneeling by his face now. Harry can smell his arousal and wishes he could suck on Eggsy's balls. Instead, Eggsy rubs that monstrous fake cock against his jaw and he opens his mouth. "Suck me."

Harry really doesn't want this – the fake cock is silicone and tastes nasty, especially with the lube on it. Eggsy's real cock infinitely better. But Eggsy's insistent and he never wants to disappoint his, so he stretches his mouth around the evil thing. He'd much rather have this in his ass and Merlin's cock in his mouth, but beggars can't be choosy.

He makes the effort at fellatio, but the burn in his ass is too much of a distraction – Merlin's vigorously scissoring him, his thumb teasing the stretched ring of muscle. It's almost too much but definitely no enough.

Eggsy finally takes the dildo out of his mouth and threads his hands into his sweaty curls, dragging Harry's face along his thighs. Harry mouths at the hard, smooth flesh, and for a moment, he thinks Eggsy's going to take off the strap on and fuck his mouth with his real cock, but he doesn't. He just teases.

Merlin slaps Harry's ass again. "God, you are such a tight fuck, Harry. You'd think with all the cock you've taken, you'd be a bit more broken in."

That's mostly a lie for the last decade or so, if just because there have been honeypots. Of course, those assignments don't land on his desk as frequently these days – he is, after all, Arthur. But still, he does enjoy them when the opportunity arises and there was that lovely one with the Mossad officer about six months ago … 

The man had a cock the size of Masada. He clenches around Merlin's fingers in memory.

But other than the honeypots, Harry's faithful to his boy. Mostly. _Does silicone counts as cheating?_

And Merlin doesn't count as cheating, either. It is Eggsy, after all, who keeps inviting this devil into their bed and lets him have his way with Harry. And it had been Merlin who'd given Eggsy that infernal dildo when he'd found out that Harry had finally sealed the deal with Eggsy. It had been intended as payback for making Merlin watch and listen when Harry had started fucking his boy on every horizontal surface in the Kingsman HQ – and a few vertical ones, too. 

Eggsy, curious and not the least bit appalled at the monstrosity, had shown him the note Merlin had enclosed – "Hope you're not intimidated, but Harry's going to want you to fuck him with this". Harry had assured Eggsy that no, Merlin hadn't been joking.

But none of that matters as Merlin continues to flex the four finger into his hole. "Do you think you could take my fist, Harry?"

Harry gasps and begs, "Please." It's an odd thing, but in thirty years of an on-and-off friends-with-benefits relationship, he'd never been quite brave enough to ask that of Merlin.

"You probably could, you know. We could work you open until your asshole's like a cunt and I'd shove my fist into you. Work you like a piston, stretch you open."

Harry actually comes – not that his cock spends, but he can feel the ripples of a tight, sharp orgasm rock through him. "Oh god, oh god – please …"

"Not today, Haz. I want to fuck you." Eggsy's behind him now, his hands are teasing his rim, flicking sharply at the overstretched skin that Merlin's still tormenting. "I think you're ready for my monster, aren't you, my pretty cockwhore."

"Smack him, Eggsy." Merlin, that fucking devil, issues a command. "Make that ass nice and red."

Eggsy laughs and obeys, spanking Harry until he's gasping and crying, until he's wrecked.

And it's worse when Merlin pulls his fingers out; the tears keep falling and Harry feels so empty and lost. 

"Shh, darling. It's all right." Merlin's leaning over his back and Harry shivers as Merlin's lube-slicked fingers trace along his spine. "Eggsy's going to take care of you right now."

And he does. There's more cool slick and then that horrible, terrible dildo is pushing at his aching hole. It's almost too big, despite Merlin's careful prepping, but Harry doesn't care. He rocks back, trying to impale himself on Eggsy. And he succeeds, beautifully. He's filled and finally feels complete. 

Now, if Merlin would just touch his cock… 

"No, Harry, I'm not playing with your cock, ye dirty slut. Ye're just going to have to wait until Eggsy says you can come."

"Please, Merlin – I need …" Harry tries to frot against the sheets, but Eggsy's holding him up as he plows his ass. His cock gets no relief.

"What ye need is to get yer mouth stuffed, ye filthy cunt." Merlin knows just how deep those delicious insults drive him into pleasure.

The sounds in the room – Eggsy's panting, the squelch of the strap-on as it fucks in and out of his hole, Harry's own harsh breathing – are muted as he hears the clink of a belt buckle coming undone, the metallic susurration of a zipper descending, the hush of fabric hitting the floor. Merlin's gloriously naked, pale perfection outlined in the shadowed light. In a moment of sensory overload, Harry can believe Merlin really is a demon summoned from Hell.

"Ye're going to suck my cock, Harry, and ye're going to be nice about it. Ye're going to take it all the way down and beg for more."

Eggsy grabs his hair and Harry rears up – the dildo in his ass hits his prostate hard – so Merlin can get on the bed. Merlin's long legs are parted and his cock is rearing up, hard and proud against his belly. Harry's mouth waters as Eggsy lets go and he falls face first into Merlin's groin. He's beyond finesse at this point, swallowing as much flesh as he can bear, reveling in the feel of Merlin's skin against his own, the hair-roughed thighs against Harry's sweating face. 

Merlin doesn't feed him his cock, instead reaching out to pluck and scuff at Harry's nipples and keeping up that stream of filth. "Look at ye, ye'r a fucking dirty tart. Ye can't get enough, can ye?" He punctuates that with a vicious twist on Harry's right nipple. "Ye think we're going to let you come? Think again. Eggsy's going to work ye until ye can't take it anymore and then I'll plow that gaping hole and we'll keep taking turns until we're done, we won't stop even when ye beg for mercy."

Harry just opens his throat and lets Merlin abuse him. Lets Eggsy work on him. He's just a receptacle for their lust. He's nothing without them and he needs everything that they'll give him and then some.

Eggsy's steady plowing becomes erratic and his fingers dig into Harry's abused buttocks. He'd scream, but his mouth is stuffed with Merlin's cock. And he still wants to scream as Eggsy pulls out of him, leaving him aching and empty.

Eggsy's hands thread through Harry's curls and he yanks him off of Merlin's cock. "Enough of that, you're going to service me now."

Just as the sound of Merlin stripping had been amplified in Harry's overworked brain, so are the sounds of Eggsy undoing the buckles and straps that hold the strap-on in place. The evil thing hits the floor with a thump and a clatter and Harry grows cold as Merlin and Eggsy change places. 

The cold doesn't last, thank god. Merlin's hands on his ass are much gentler than Eggsy's; he's tracing the bruising with soft fingers, teasing at his swollen hole, and now that he's in sole possession of his ass, he's as profligate with his praise as he'd been with his insults.

"Look at ye, Harry – so pretty. Eggsy roughed ye up nicely, but I'm going to make this all better." And he does, sliding in to Harry and he's bare as the day he'd been born.

Harry sighs. If he can't trust Merlin with his health, why is he trusting Merlin at all? Besides, Merlin's naked cock feels too good after Eggsy's infernal toy. 

"Harry, you're ignoring me." Eggsy pulls his hair again, and Harry looks up. His boy looks like mischief incarnate. Or maybe sex incarnate. Or maybe both, and he doesn't really care. He dives down and starts sucking on Eggsy's cock – his real cock. It's so satisfying to realize that while Eggsy's been controlling Harry's pleasure, he's not had such a tight rein on his own. Eggsy's leaking like a sieve and shuddering non-stop and he's fucking Harry's face like he'd just fucked Harry's ass – with relentless strength and precision. But Harry has tricks of his own – a tongue that knows all of his boy's trigger points and a decidedly deep gag reflex. 

And decades of experience sucking cock.

He envies Eggsy, envies his youth and his almost non-existent refractory period and his ability to come three or four times in a night. Harry's mind is willing, but his flesh can't follow through like that - not anymore. This – as well as his lover's need to torment him – is why he's got a ring around his cock and even though Merlin's working him like a gentle devil, Harry won't come until they remove that infernal band around his cock. 

Merlin's no longer so gentle as his hips whip back and forth, his fingers adding another layer of bruises on top of the ones Eggsy's gifted to him. Merlin slams into him one last time and orgasms with a harsh cry.

The heat from Merlin's come triggers something in Harry – another quasi-climax – and he shudders against Eggsy, crying out in frustrated pleasure.

They're a tangled mess of sweat and sex; Merlin's draped over Harry's back, Harry's breathing in Eggsy's sex, and no one's talking. Harry doesn't even care that his hands are still tied at the small of his back or that his cock feels like it's going to burst. He's replete because his lovers are satisfied.

That doesn't mean Harry doesn't whine as Merlin withdraws and the spunk that trails out of his hole is lovely and cool. 

So are Merlin's fingers as he undoes the cuffs that bind his wrists. 

"Harry, are you with us?" Merlin pushes the mass of sweat-soaked curls off his forehead. "Are you all right?"

"Mmm…" It's too much effort to answer. 

Eggsy gets up and Harry rolls onto his back, finding a lovely, cool spot on the sheets. He doesn't really care about his own orgasm any more. This floaty feeling is too perfect…

Time contracts and expands, Eggsy disappears, but Merlin is next to him, stroking his curls and whispering. "You are too good for us, Harry. Too sweet and soft and perfect."

"No, I'm not. I'm a crotchety old man." 

Merlin laughs and kisses him. It's not like the biting kisses from before. These are like feathers, butterflies, flowers, everything sweet and wonderful and Harry just lets himself feel.

"So fucking hot, you two." Eggsy's returned and he's stroking him with a warm, damp flannel, wiping away the sweat and sex juices from his face and chest, his teasing now gentle. Everything is so gentle. "I think it's time we focused on your pleasure."

Harry doesn't want to move. "Mmm, I think I already had my pleasure."

Merlin laughs in his ear. "Let us take care of you now."

The binding around his cock disappears, only to be replaced by hands and lips – Merlin's hands and Eggsy's mouth. The sensation is almost too much, despite how careful they are with him. He comes, but it feels like an afterthought. 

"You are so good, Harry. So good to us. You should rest now." Merlin's rumble is soporific and Harry doesn't try too hard to fight against the inexorable drag of sleep. 

He mutters, more to himself than to his lovers, "I'm going to be a mess tomorrow, aren't I?"

Eggsy's curled on the other side of him, and he's whispering in his ear, "Of course, Haz. You're going to sit at the Round Table and give orders to your knights and all you'll be able to feel is that monstrous dong in your pretty ass." 

Merlin concurs, "And that ass certainly is pretty, especially with all the bruises."

Harry's quietly pleased that his lovers find him so delightful. But of course he wants reassurance. "My ass is still pretty?"

"Yes, ye fucking peacock, it still is." Merlin rumbles with laughter.

Satisfied at the praise, Harry sinks back in that velvet-luxurious subspace. "Good." 

Eggsy pulls up the sheet and flicks off the light. Harry rolls over, to spoon him from behind. The bruises on his hips and ass ache in the best kind of way. And Merlin curls behind him, his flaccid cock tucked between Harry's buttocks is making the ache even better.

There is something just so right about this.

__

FIN

**Author's Note:**

> A true confession - part of this this was originally written as FirthStrong, with Livia because I wanted to write pegging, but honestly, it was simply terrible. Terrible writing, terrible characterization, terrible everything. It had been posted on the Kingsman RPS fandom, but I took it down after less then twelve hours. I tucked it away for a few weeks, with the intention of rewriting it for another fandom (that's how bland and interchangeable it was). Then the Bottom!Harry fest was announced and I got completely re-inspired to rework as Merhertwin (and double the size of the story). 
> 
> So, if you were one of the twenty-or-so people who'd clicked on the link and read it, that's why it seems familiar.


End file.
